Some people struggle with occasions and celebrations primarily because:
- of changes in routine
- excitement
- additional social demands
- unfamiliar food and smells
- over stimulating sights and sounds
You can think about changing the environment, not the person
People who struggle may be identified with Autism, ADHD, Anxiety or a wide range of additional differences.
Some people struggle without being identified.
There are some simple ways that can help everyone with a little thought and consideration we can all have great exciting events.
We can reduce anxiety around changes to routine by:
- putting a calendar on the fridge
- take time to discuss the plans in advance
- allowing a choice not to attend an event
- take time each evening to discuss the next day
- review what has gone well (or didn’t) previously and look for prevention opportunities
When people struggle with social demands and excitement we may see anti-social behaviours such as meltdowns, staying in their room, refusal to come out, silence, sulking!
In my family, we talk about our ‘social battery’. If we are fully charged we can party all day; but when our batteries are running low we elect to have time out to recharge. This could be room time, movie time, a quiet corner, or headphone time. I have always preferred that my children sit out for an hour and then rejoin us, than miss an event altogether. Primarily, this works because we are in tune with our ‘batteries’, feel safe to communicate and know what we need for successful outings.
We also support with:
- making a list of events
- talking through expectations
- listen and respecting responses
- anticipating and being observant to changes in behaviours
- Allow frequent ‘quiet’ breaks away from people
Prevention is always better than cure!
- in crowded / loud / busy / bright places (mall /parties) pre-plan for breaks
- know where the ‘calm’ places are – allow for ‘escape’
Food and Drink
- display refreshments ‘buffet’ style and allow people to approach – independent choice
- new tastes are overwhelming – refusal is not rude
- it is best not to ‘offer’ or ‘encourage’ trying something new – make it available and sit back
- provide familiar foods and drink too
- remove all food rules – pizza at Christmas is perfectly acceptable
- a pile of presents can be overwhelming consider a ‘treasure hunt’ instead to spread out the excitement
- add batteries before wrapping
- if something didn’t work previously, don’t repeat
- Christmas jumpers are not for everyone!
- be calm, kind, non-judgmental
- anticipate, and communicate
I hope you all have a fun, relaxed and joyous celebration of the holidays.
Happy Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
Happy Ōmisoka
Happy Winter Solstice
and if I have missed your celebration I would be really happy for you to let me know!
